Help and Support

Need help using the Ivory Towers site? Don't worry, we'll try to help you with any problems you might have. Make sure you've checked the following pages before getting in touch with us.

    The Ivory Towers Service

    • Why should I pay to use Ivory Towers?

      Although there are free dating websites available, Ivory Towers is very different and, we believe, much better!

      We ask for subscriptions because:

      • We believe that a service that members pay for is more likely to encourage committed, responsible membership

      • We have a customer service team that keeps the service running smoothly on a daily basis

      • Putting the site together has required a significant investment in technology and development of our matchmaking software and techniques

      • We're spreading the word to build up membership and provide more choice for members. Membership is growing and we intend that to continue

      Our prices are competitive with the largest UK sites on offer. We are much cheaper than any equivalent offline dating or introduction service. We aren't here for big bucks but the system will need to pay for itself... eventually!

      If you are a student, pensioner or on a limited income, we will consider special rates on an individual basis. Compare membership types.

    • In what way is Ivory Towers different from other matchmaking websites?

      This Website has been designed by and for people in the UK.

      We are based in the UK, which means that the questions we ask are appropriate to members in the UK and Ireland. The vast majority of people on our database are going to be living relatively close to you, unlike many American and International sites.

    • Who can join Ivory Towers?

      Any alumni, postgraduate or current student from a University on the following list, provided they are resident in the UK or Ireland. You may be asked to produce evidence of attendance or graduation.

    • The University I attended is not listed here. Can I still join?

      If you went to an overseas university or to a UK or Irish university not on our list and would like to join Ivory Towers, please email us and we will be happy to consider your application. Fill in the relevant part of the form under 'Other Universities' and put in the name of the university you attended. If there is any problem, we may ask you for more information. We reserve the right to refuse the application in certain circumstances.

    • Can I join Ivory Towers if I live outside the UK/Ireland?

      This site is open to people who live in the UK or Ireland who are 18 and over. We make an exception for UK citizens who are living and working temporarily outside the UK or Ireland, and visit home on a regular basis. If you are in this situation, please make sure you can register with a valid UK or Irish address and postcode. It would be advisable to contact us via the help system to let us know.

    Logging On

    Facebook Login

    Your Profile

    • How do I hide my profile to make it invisible?

      To hide your profile from everyone either edit your Privacy settings on Your Account page; or if you see yourself in a search, click Hide buttonHide from searches in the search results.

      If you just want to be hidden from public searches, tick Hide my profile from public searches on Your Account page.

    • How can I stop a member from appearing in my searches?

      Click on the Hide button Hide from searches button on the member's profile page or on the searches page. You can hide yourself if you like!

    • How do I unblock/unhide a member?

      Go to Your Lists page. From here you'll be able to see lists of members you have blocked and hidden from searches. Use the buttons on the right to unblock/unhide a member.

    • Do I have to answer all the profile questions?

      In a word, no! You're encouraged to complete as much as possible on your profile (and you will probably be more successful if you do!). There are a few mandatory questions to get you started, but after that you can always change or add to your profile later. A well thought out profile will help you stand out from the crowd and can be a great conversation starter, so be as personal as you can!

    • Why have a photograph?

      Looks aren't everything but a photo can make all the difference between getting your profile noticed or not. Our stats show that 40% of members wouldn't contact somebody who didn't have a good photo.

    • How can I add a photo?

      If you do not already have a profile photo, go to your profile, hover over the grey No Photo image and click the Upload photo link that appears in the top right. Follow the steps to upload a photo from your computer to your profile, and you're done!

      If you already have a photo, go to your profile and click Add new photo beneath your current pictures then follow the steps as you did before.

    • Why is my photo blurry?

      One of the improvements we've made to the site is to allow for bigger profile photos. If you had a profile on the old site, your photo may have been enlarged, causing it to look a little blurry or pixellated.

      The solution is to remove the old one and upload the original again.

    • Can I change my personal profile?

      Yes! and it's good to keep it up to date. Sign up to create your profile

    • How can I improve my profile

      We've come up with some handy tips on our profile tips page.


    • Does membership cost anything?

      If you're new, you can join the site on a free trial basis, which will give you full access to all areas and functions of the site.

      Once your membership expires, your account will automatically be converted into a "Profile" account, allowing you to login, browse, and edit your profile.

      Compare membership types or check out the subscription options.

    • How do I close my account?

      If you're sure you want to close your account, log in to the site and go to Your Account Page. In the first box that appears, click the "Close my account" link. From there, follow the instructions and click the big red button to close your account and log out.

    • Can I get a refund?

      As a general rule, we don't offer refunds (as stated in the Terms and Conditions).

      However, in special circumstances such as fraud or a major error by Ivory Towers, we may make an exception. If you'd like to find out if you're eligible for a refund, get in touch via our help form, and we'll see if we can help.

    • Can I suspend my membership and return to the site at a later date?

      You can suspend your membership if you've purchased a 12 month membership, providing you have 3 or more weeks left.

      Members with recurring subscriptions cannot suspend their membership, however they can hide their profile temporarily or cancel all future payments at any time. These features can be found on Your Account page.

    • In what circumstances could membership be refused or cancelled?

      In order to protect members on the site (as well as ourselves), the Terms and Conditions allow Ivory Towers to close accounts, or refuse membership at our discretion. Below are some of the reasons we may give a warning to a member or immediately close their account:

      • Misrepresentations on their account details, their profile or through the messages they send. This may include misrepresentations about age, gender, email address, surname or postcode.
      • If they're under 18 or do not live in the UK or Ireland.
      • Attacking or undermining the traditions of other members on the site, directly or indirectly.
      • Behaving in an offensive, disruptive, or criminal way either on or off the site.
      • Inactivity for months (they'll be sent a notification email first).
      • Failure to observe the Terms and Conditions or Privacy Policy.

      If membership is terminated for any of the above reasons, membership fees are non-refundable.

    • What happens to my membership after it expires?

      When your membership expires, your profile will be kept on the system and will still be visible to other members, but you'll be limited as to what you can do on the site. You'll still be able to read messages from other members, but you'll have to subscribe in order to reply to them. Compare membership types.

      If you think you might want to come back at a later date but want to hide your profile from other members, visit Your Account page and under Privacy tick Hide my profile from everyone.

      If you'd like to close your account, you can do this on Your Account page. Click the Close my account link, and follow the instructions.

    • When does my membership expire?

      Your membership/subscription details can be found on your account page - there's a link to it in the top right when you're logged in.

    • I'm feeling a bit disappointed, what can I do?

      We're sorry to hear that. Advice on what to do next can be found on our Disappointed page.

    • How do I rejoin if I've already been a trial member or my membership has expired?

      Simply login and subscribe! - your profile with all its details will still be there.

      Please don't sign up again! Having more than one account can be confusing to other members on the site (and to you too!). The free trial is a one-off taster, so duplicate accounts will be closed.

      If you've forgotten your password, go here and enter your email address to reset it. If you don't have access to the email account you signed up with, send us an email and we'll get back to you.

    • Can I take out another membership while my membership is suspended?

      Please don't! Having more than one account can be confusing to other members on the site (and to you too!). Ivory Towers will close any duplicate accounts.

    • How can I change my password?

      Login to the site, visit Your Account page and click on Password. Enter your new password and your done!

    Mail Queries

    • How do I turn off email notifications?

      Email notification settings can be changed in the Notifications section on Your Account page.

      If you do not wish to receive any more messages from Ivory Towers members please either hide your profile or cancel your membership.

    • What's a Wave?

      A wave is a simple way to say “hello” and start a conversation on the site.

    • Why didn't I receive a new mail notification?

      Our system sends out loads of notifications every day, and as their content is often very similar, some email systems interpret our messages as junk mail, or 'spam'.

      Although we do our best to ensure that our automated messages get through, once we have sent the messages out we have no control over what happens to them.

      Try checking your spam/junk folder, and mark any Ivory Towers notifications as 'Not Spam/Junk'.

    • Why has no-one replied to my emails?

      Unfortunately this problem affects almost everyone! - you are not alone!

      We have asked people time and again to make sure that they reply to all emails. There are various reasons why they don't:

      • Some members receive a lot of email and find it difficult to respond to everyone.

      • Others may be involved in a particular correspondence with another member.

      • Some may have signed up then not visited the site again, even if they've been alerted that they have email.

      • Some may have to subscribe in order to read their mail.

      • Sometimes they can't be bothered or would rather not be negative.

      Make sure your emails are as best as they can be by reading our Mailbox tips

    • Where's my new mail?

      When there is mail for you at Ivory Towers, you will automatically receive a 'mail waiting' message in your external email account. You may have already viewed your Ivory Towers mail before seeing this message in your external email account.

    • Why do I get "You've got mail" notifications after my membership has expired?

      When an mail is sent to you on Ivory Towers you automatically are sent an notification email.

      As an expired member you'll still be able to read new mail, but you won't be able to reply until you subscribe.

    • Is there a limit on the number of emails I can send per day?
      • Trial members can send 5 messages per day.
      • Profile members can respond with a number of preset standard responses.
      • Full members can start 30 new conversations per day (replies are unlimited.)

      This limit is in place to encourage quality rather than quantity, and also reduces the potential for someone to post spam to a large number of members. The limits are set as a result of member feedback and most people rarely find they reach the limit.

      Compare membership types.

    • Is there a limit on the number of waves I can send per day?
      • Trial members can send 10 waves per day.
      • Profile members can send 10 waves per day.
      • Full members can send 30 waves per day.

      You can wave up to twice at each member, but only once a day. This is to prevent any user being bombarded by waves from just one member. Once the recipient has responded, you may not wave at them again. Waves are intended to be a conversation starter.

      The limits are in place to reduces the potential for someone to flood to a large number of members with waves. The limits are set as a result of member feedback.

      Compare membership types.

    • What do I do if I get an email from someone who I'd rather not reply to?

      If you receive mail from a member but would prefer not to reply, there is a decline button. This sends a message to the sender thanking them for their message but declining further contact.

      If you feel that the message is spam or goes against our Terms and Conditions, us the Report this message link on the message, and we'll look into it.

    • How do I report an offensive/inappropriate message?

      When viewing the message click the Report this message link, and fill out the form that appears.

    • Why has the person I want to write to disappeared?

      They may have made their profile invisible, closed their account or blocked you. Sometimes people hide their profile for a period of time (for example if they're on vacation) and return later.

    • Why can't I send mail?

      If you are a current member you can send mail. When a mail is successfully sent a screen will appear telling you that the mail has gone. If you do not receive this screen, your mail has not been sent. You can also check your sent items. If the mail message does not appear in your sent items then it has not been sent.

      If you are having trouble sending mail, please check that you have included a Message Title on your email. It will not be sent if you do not include one. Also check that you have not sent your email quota for the day.

    • How can I get more mail?

      For tips receiving more mail, see our Mailbox tips page.

    Privacy and Security

    • What can I do to protect my own privacy and security on Ivory Towers?

      If you use Ivory Towers on a shared computer, it is advisable to uncheck the Remember me box on the login page, and to decline any offer from the browser (e.g. Internet Explorer) to remember your details.

      It's also a good idea to logout when you've finished - there's a link to logout in the top right on every page.

    • How is my privacy protected?

      You can read all about privacy protection on our Privacy Policy page.

    • How am I protected from people who may try to misuse this Website?

      At Ivory Towers, we work very hard to detect and ban members who misuse the site and we are generally successful. However we also need our members to help us out and report anything they feel is suspicious. For more information about spotting scams visit the scams help page.

    • Can I block a member?

      If you receive mail from a member but would prefer not to reply, there is a Create 'no thanks' message button. This generates a polite message addressed to the sender (which you may edit if you wish), thanking them for their message but declining further contact.

      If you'd like to stop receiving messages from a particular member, you can block them using the block user icon Block this member link on their profile. If you do receive mail which you find inappropriate in any way, use the Report this message link on the relevant message.

      If the same member is blocked several times, they may have their membership suspended.

      Please don't block other members routinely or excessively. Blocking should be used carefully. Members who block excessively can cause confusion and may have their membership reviewed.

    • How secure is it to pass over my credit card details over the Internet?

      All online payments to Ivory Towers are passed through a secure server, which provides many security features to keep your details safe.